That’s a really sweet and human question. Feeling the urge to hug everyone usually points to a deep sense of empathy, emotional warmth, or even a subconscious desire to connect or comfort others. It might help to explore a few possible reasons why you feel this way:
1. You’re Naturally Affectionate
Some people are just hardwired to express love and care through physical touch. If you’re someone who grew up in an affectionate environment—or even if you didn’t, and you crave that closeness—you might instinctively want to share hugs as a form of emotional expression.
2. You’re Emotionally In Tune With Others
You may have high emotional intelligence or even be an empath. When you’re sensitive to other people’s moods or energy, your instinct might be to soothe or uplift them—often through physical affection like hugging.
3. Touch is Your Love Language
If you’ve ever taken the 5 Love Languages quiz, “physical touch” might be your primary language. This means you naturally give and receive affection best through hugs, hand-holding, and closeness.
4. You’re Seeking Connection
Sometimes, the impulse to hug isn’t just about others—it’s also about your own need for connection. Hugs are one of the most direct ways to feel seen, safe, and emotionally bonded with another person.
5. Oxytocin Magic
Hugging triggers the release of oxytocin, the “cuddle hormone” that promotes feelings of trust, reduces stress, and fosters emotional bonding. Your brain might associate hugs with safety and calm, which makes them feel instinctively necessary.
Quick Reflection:
Do you find that you want to hug everyone when you’re feeling great, or when you’re anxious? That little distinction might reveal whether you’re expressing joy outwardly or seeking grounding inwardly.
I think it’s because we’re being told to socially distance from everyone except with those people we live with. As soon as we’re told we can’t do something, have something , it triggers as a need. You may not have been much of a hugger before the virus caused such disruption to the way we live but you will have, however unconsciously, touched and been touched by a myriad of people. Knowing this doesn’t stop the need to be hugged but you can hug yourself.
find a comfortable place to sit, close your eyes, thing about a loved one, a happy time. Then bring one arm up to the opposite shoulder, lay your hand on it and with your other arm bring it down to your waist. Apply a little pressure , breathe deeply , slow and steady , still with your eyes shut. Lay you cheek on the hand on your shoulder. Not as good as a real hug but still quite satisfying till we can get close to each other again.
im from a touchy-feely family, my son gives the best hugs ever . I’ve not seen him in 18 months as we’re live in different countries. I was due to fly out to see him just as the pandemic closed borders down.
sending a virtual hug
You are probably a very happy, outgoing person who likes everyone and is very positive. You are very energetic and just can’t contain it, and you want to share that with everyone else. I wish I had your health and energy!
We as humans are social creatures who crave and need at the very least the occasional touch from another human being. Even baby monkeys need touch to thrive and sometimes even survive, as in Harry Harlow’s now famous 1950s experiment.
“In the early 1950s, American psychologist Harry Harlow provided a dramatic demonstration of the importance of touch in coping. Harlow set out to study the effect that separation from their mothers has on children by conducting a range of controversial experiments with baby Rhesus monkeys. Harlow raised the baby monkeys in isolation in a cage that contained two surrogate “mothers” – one made of metal wire and the other wrapped in terrycloth. Although the wire mother contained a bottle from which the monkeys could nurse, the monkeys would cling to the terrycloth mother when they were frightened, even when this led them to dehydrate and starve. Harlow’s monkeys were apparently hungry for something other than food: They were literally starving for a warm, comforting touch.” (Written by Mandy Tjew A Sin)
What i think you should do in the presence of someone you know and trust is simply to ask for a hug.
Whether you have hugged someone or not, if the feeling is there at least try hugging someone you are close with and if it works out you are good to go
Maybe because you feel lonely or haven’t been hugged in a long time. Maybe it is because it makes you feel good, you know yourself the best.
It’s raining, you are sitting on a chair in your apartment. Looking out of the window, all is quiet but the sound of raindrops falling. A sigh slips past your lips as you rest your head on your forearms. Nothing could be seen out of the window, only darkness and you. There is no light in the reflection, because the candle you lit is no longer burning. You look at your table, the plate with a cake you made.
“Happy birthday me” – you say as you grab a spoon filled with chocolate cake. The spoon is cold, the hard metal quickly warms up to your hand. The flavor of chocolate is fantastic but yet you feel like something is missing, there is a hole inside of you that cake cannot fill. You look around the kitchen, surrounded by the sound of rain and darkness, you realize you are alone, a hug of comfort, someone saying it is all going to be okay, that is what you need. Sadness overwhelmes you as you keep eating that chocolate cake until nothing is left. Now it is just you and the rain.
Psychological hunger for being remain deprived of love, might cause such abnormalities, if not digested through fasting.
We all do! It makes us, and life, feel warmer, My son hugs me, even though he is a big lad, now, but he is affectionate. He went through the “terrible teens” but emerged as a kindly adult. Everyone needs that reassurance, even Princess Di said its ok to give someone a hug, when needed. The trouble is, British people tend to be reserved, not given to such open displays of affection, but in other countries they are more open in this. Suppose you have a friend or neighbour who has been through some kind of a trauma, and they come to you, upset. What would you do? I think its natural that you would give them a hug and try to make them feel better. A close friend you haven’t seen for ages, for instance. A fond auntie. It could brighten them up /i think its perfectly ok. Its a pity we have to be “told “ thatits alright to do this. We ought to nlet down our reserve now and then. I dont say we should go around hugging all and sundry, but in that, I feel we can use discretion and common sense
Because honey, you deserve to know that you are loved.
Because sometimes, just sometimes it’s so easy for us to forget that we’re loved and a hug or a kiss on the forehead does reinforce this belief.
Especially when we place our heads on their chest,listening to their heart beat rhythmically, feeling their abdomen rise and fall slowly with every breath, breathing in that slight familiar smell, while being held by rugged,weathered but comforting arms, savouring that moment and adding it into our memory…if that doesn’t explain how loved you are, then you need a hug from someone asap.
Hugging is one of the best methods of easing depression. Not only that, it reduces the risk of heart disease, relieves stress and can make you feel calmer. Hugging builds trust and can deepen your relationship. It shows that you care and it provides comfort for the other person
The comfort and balance of a physical touch are not to be underrated. Of course there are some assumptions, such as the mutual voluntary nature of this touch. In today’s world we cannot properly claim to be ignorant of the offense of an unwanted hug. In this sense your desire could be seen as immoral or egregious. You must therefore read the situation right and either only offer hugs verbally and or understand the signals (body language) of the hugee properly so as not to offend.
Hug is an act of touch and balance and therefore it is an act of compassion of anger. This may surprise you. But anger is the only emotion of balance. Anger, fear, and desire are the only three emotions. They interact to create balance, mostly as a goal of anger. Anger thus balances fear (that you are alone or … insufficient) as you are surrounded in the relative safety of another’s embrace. Further, desire is inflamed by admiration inherent in a consensual hug. This is not explicitly sexual at all, but it is desire.
You used the word ‘like’, though. That is a fear word. It is therefore likely that your need to comfort your fear is higher than your desire. Desire would be the inclination if you had used the word ‘want’.
Perhaps it’s the intimacy that full body contact implies. Aside from when we’re having sex, we’re not often so physically close to another person. In situations where we are forced to be physically close to someone we don’t share that intimacy with, it’s a very uncomfortable feeling. In a packed subway carriage, people tend to avert their eyes.
But a hug usually lacks the complicated and sometimes nefarious motives of sex. I have never felt that someone is trying to exert power over me by giving me a hug. For that reason, a hug usually has a quality of innocence about it. Most infants are held by their parents a lot, so from an early age most of us learn to associate hugs with comfort and having our needs met.
And a hug tends to be spontaneous. Have you ever planned a hug? Perhaps for that reason, it feels like a natural flow of emotion. A hug is the offer, and acceptance, of comfort. It’s hard to hug someone who refuses to hug you back.
I need one now and have no-one. I asked someone on Quora just now, but no reply yet, I am going to have a bath shortly that is a kind of equivalent, Sometimes I ring someone up and I may yet do that. Of course, if I am out and about I take every opportunity that presents itself, often asking for one if I am with comfortable people.
If there is no acceptable person close to me within practical hugging distance, and I don’t have the blessing of one of my pets, then I make a big cup of mocha or hot chocolate, Mexican style. I find the extra spice really warms you from the inside.
Also, videos of cute animals whether they are funny or just sweet. Or I find something to fascinate me, difficult if you are depressed. A personal go-to fav of mine is videos of people walking into glass doors. Almost always cheers me up.
Even though I do not agree with my answer in regard to myself, I’ll still try and explain with the point of view of others.
Hugging someone, or cuddling, as a normal human trait makes us feel good from within. It releases a hormone called oxytoxin which lowers our heart rates and makes us calmer, happier and secure. It also promotes a good feeling for the person we have hugged. Hugging makes us believe that someone cares, and develops the feeling of emotion, bonding and trust.
Basically, that warm feeling we get inside is the reason people like hugs.
Hugging is one of the very few intimate activities that involves a full body contact. Not only that, combined with an intention or feeling of caring or wanting to make the other person feel loves and safe is why hugging would make most people comfortable and safe. The feeling of completion I may say in one way could be the fact that the person you’re hugging, for that time, is in a way fully completing your wish to be hugged or be felt safe and thus you feel complete.
Everyone needs hugs once in a while, in fact a human baby requires contact with its mother from birth until its a bit old enough to be put in a cradle and that very trait comes from us requiring safety or security in some way.
Also maybe if the person experienced a very amazing feeling of joy, completion and so on during their hug with a certain someone then its possible that your heart/mind long for that feeling in times of trouble or anxiety, thus why you feel like being hugged.
I too once experienced this with someone once upon a time and it indeed is a beautiful feeling as well as the feeling of being complete. Hope you get a hug soon! Have a good day.
One, wearing something that will keep you/your body warm, but not hot, but comfortable, wrap your arms around your upper body, as if you were trying to touch your finger tips, but don’t stretch that hard. Kinda rub your back with your hands as if you were hugging another person, face to face. Whatever nice thought or thoughts you can see in your mind (while your eyes are closed) is fine. But don’t force it. I hear all the time, “Go to your happy place.” I wanna scream, “Hey! If I had a effin happy place to go to, I sure as sht wouldn’t be sittin’ here doin’ this!!!!”
I’m sure you can google for more info, but the only therapist I ever trusted (even though she made a couple of wee mistakes with me) told me about it.
The other thing that seems to work for many (based on sales and gift giving) are the weighted blankets. I believe they started out for use with autistic children, but quickly became a massive seller for the public in general. People that use them, even to sleep under, love them. They seem to provide a sense of safety or warmth or comfort. I can’t think of any names of any particular companies that sell them, but I’ll bet you a burger the next time in town, that you’ll find them on Amazon. Also, check Walmart if you look into it. Walmart usually offers a 3 month return policy, and they’re a lot easier to get help with when dealing with vendors. They also seem to be a little quicker with deliveries, even if you don’t have that program to get your order the next day so it can sit in your living room for a week before you have a chance to open it.
Hugs are a natural thing to desire. Keep in mind, nature doesn’t want us to be alone. Nature does not want us to be isolated. Alone, there is no one to turn to if there’s trouble. No one to discuss possible answers to problems. No one to just connect with for casual conversation or friendship. Those are all important things.
I get it, far too well about wanting to hug someone, even when there’s no one around t o hug. The need and the desire is there. Youremind will nudge you to do what it feels is best for you. And I’ll bet 99 44/100 percent of the time, (Do you know Ivory Soap), your mind, being you, is correct.
If you look at the blankets, check prices. The biggest seller was or the original mfgr. They just came up with a better name, and people flocked to them.
I hope this helps, and I sincerely mean that. Isolation can be painful. Im pretty sure Nature meant it to be.
And of course, anyone you mention loneliness to is going to tell you to “go out” and meet people, spend time with people, etc. Not always as easy as it sounds when your on the other side, I know. If you’re a bit unhappy about being alone at the moment, that’s not exactly a motivator to go out and stir it up with others.
One last thing, BTW, I think it’s pretty big in one of the eastern countries to “rent” someone to hug you. Of interested, of course you’ll have to google that as well, but it’s kinda interesting. I don’t think it would be my thing, but I’m only the brightest bulb in the box when all the other bulbs are burned out. If you do look into it, you may come to understand that you’re not the only one in the Universe feeling alone. We are more alone in our lives than ever in history. You don’t have to think too long to see reasons that can cause that.
Best of luck and best wishes. And if you ever feel you’d like a cosmic hug, you know my number. It would be my pleasure.
It sounds like you’re experiencing some sort of emotional high for whatever reason/s. It’s not necessarily a bad thing but you would be well advised not to go around hugging or kissing anybody (especially without their permission) – people are touchy about that sort of thing. Some people might react badly and hit you.
That was final year of mbbs. But even before that I have felt that during various phases of my life whenever I was lonely and had strived for love and care but nobody available for that.
Even when I was in high school or higher secondary.
By hugging someone, we can receive love and warmth of someone. That physical sense of touch and presence of someone probably makes us feel that we have the person with us in our struggle or problems too.
It also gives us a shoulder where we can relax and feel better for atleast a few seconds.
Whenever we are lonely, we don’t have someone to share our pain or other feelings, then our body aches for that hug. One hug seems to solves thousands of problems
Take a big fluffy pillow. Wrap your arms around it. Close your eyes and think of it as the person you love the most and cry it all out thinking you are finally hugging that person and the person also feels the same.
You will feel much lighter. Sounds cliched but works.
Try it.
And just one comment, you can always hug Ur mum or dad as much as you want, I guess. Try that too.
Hugs are a way of saying I love you, I like, you, I support you or I feel for you. It gives you the feeling that the other person cares. Realize that hugging is an intimate act and their are two ends to the spectrum. There are those that hug you with no real feeling or care and those that want more than a hug.
Generally with true addictions there is the problem with wanting more. It is easy to find yourself craving more intimacy, which isn’t bad in itself, but you have to be discreet regarding the partners that you choose to hug or allow to hug you. Hugs feel good especially when they are appropriate hugs.
“I am a guy whose divorce is in process and been feeling terrible since last six months.”
- In the last two years, I suffered from ‘Trigeminal Neuralgia’ and then within a month got diagnosed with ‘Small Fiber Neuropathy’ which made me bedridden for almost a month. And then I got diagnosed with ‘acid reflux’ problem and had to undergo a laparoscopic surgery called anti-reflux surgery. It does not end there. In due course of time while still under the treatment, my wife left me and divorce was filed. But guess what I am still alive and able to write this today.
I had always wanted someone who would understand me and make my life complete by giving me the feeling of being loved and I would feel at the top of the world and cherish her presence in my life. Someone who is for a keep. But all these got shattered when I made the wrong choice for a life partner. I know this is not the end of the world.
I ignored all the red flags from the start and today I am left heart broken and feel terrible for making all the wrong choices. I am not alone bcoz my parents and rest of the family is giving me the support but I feel lonely and unable to share my feelings or what I am going through inside.
This is making me feel the need for a tight, long and a warm hug. Just to have the feel of belonging. I just don’t want to do life alone. The world seems so big with so many beautiful people out there but none to call mine, someone whom I can hug at night while sleeping, snug up close and wake up together in the morning.
The constant thought of where did I go wrong and how did I end up like this is just killing me inside. 😦
Need a hug therapy, wonder if such kind of therapy exist even.
INFJs care deeply for others wellbeing, so whenever someone is in physical or emotional pain our first instinct is to comfort. And while some times that can be in the form of words there are certain situations that words are what’s least helpful. Sometimes all a person needs is someone to hold them when it feels like everything is crumbling down around them.
Another reason could be because that’s what we want when we’re upset and need comforting. Since we tend to be private and not very open with our struggles we at least want others to experience comforting.
Some possibilities:
- You are compassionate.
- You have empathy.
- You like to feel needed.
- You know you can help.
The “why” is not truly very important. If you want to help and can do so without harming yourself, there is no reason not to, unless the recipient of your help would prefer to be left alone.
When I was hugged by my ex it felt like Heaven in my arms. She was a skinny Black woman with curves that fit like a hand in a glove. It was the second most beautiful feeling I ever felt. Second to actually making love. I would close my eyes and kiss her gently on the neck and drift into another dimension. For a few seconds I could go into a world I could only dream of. Her skin was so dark and lovely and her hands were so small and feminine. Her touch always gave me instant arousal. She was the only woman who could take my heart and my mind to places I have never been. Unfortunately she gave her love to someone else. And told me to do the same. The feeling was memorable. But I took her advice accepting the fact that she doesn’t love me. She only had me in her life to fill a temporary space until she could be with the one she really loved. The last time I hugged her the magic was gone. And so was she.
It is natural to want to be loved and feel loved. Perhaps, something has happened in your life that has caused you to feel the need to be loved all the time. I had a traumatic experience as a teenager that was never addressed. I just went on with my life as if nothing happened. But, it affected me for the majority of my life! I kept trying to fill that “need” to be loved. Finally, I went to God and he helped me. He loved me FIRST! Then, he taught me to love MYSELF! And then, he sent the most incredible man I have met into my life that knows how to love me just right! I hope this has helped you!
Because we are social creatures
Because touch is an important form of transmitting feelings
Because it makes us feel protected, loved and included
Because it soothes our soul
Because deep down inside there’s a five year old girl or boy who just really would like a hug right now
Because you’re human
I’m a hugger, too, but you have to respectful of someone’s personal space. A person may not like being touched without permission. Some people can become downright hostile. I used to have an obese friend who, as her husband phrased it, ‘forced herself’ on people. She wanted to love everyone, because she was ‘a sweedy’. She also told all the men she met that they were ‘Jesusy’ and that Jesus was her boyfriend and they had a lot of private jokes together. I think the doctor dropped her a couple of times at birth!
Maybe you have a spiritual calling related to helping the needy or those who struggle with a particular thing in life. Or you may have a spiritual gift of giving or of helps. Those are two separate gifts that are described in scripture. Not everyone has those gifts or feels a need to help others. I’ve seen it far less than other spiritual gifts. It’s a great thing to feel compassion for others. But grow into it if you need to. We need to mature in any gift and we need to be able to set boundaries for ourself, to not be taken advantage of and to not feel responsible for others in unhealthy ways. We need balance and wisdom in all things.
By Amjad Izhar
Contact: amjad.izhar@gmail.com
https://amjadizhar.blog
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